"I Am The Empire. (And So Can You!)"
by Lisa Foiles

If you are a friend of mine, I have no doubt made you pee your pants and run home crying out of embarrassment after beating your ass five times before it hit the ground at a rousing game of Star Wars Trivial Pursuit: Saga Edition. That’s right. I know more about the Star Wars films than any sane person, especially female, should. I’m that nerd who moves her hands with all automatic doors to demonstrate her Force powers, quotes the movies in her everyday speech as if she came up with it herself, and owns a life-size Darth Vader helmet complete with a voice changer. I need help.

I remember watching videos of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, or just STFU for short, years ago and being absolutely blown away by its use of multiple physics engines. This technique allows every person/item/monster you pick up with your Force powers to respond differently and each piece of scenery you break to react realistically. For example, glass shatters like glass, wood breaks like wood, and plants on the planet Felusia bend like plants on the planet Felusia would.

The plot summary makes perfect sense to any Star Wars fan, but may leave non-Star Wars nerds in the dark. (Not the Dark Side, just the regular dark.) The story takes place between Episode III and Episode IV. You play as Darth Vader’s secret apprentice and therefore have the badassery to wield the Force like never before. You cruise around the galaxy doing Vader’s bidding while falling in love with your ship’s pilot, either because she’s pretty and not a complete dimwit or because she is the only female in the game that doesn’t think you are a kitten-killing murderer and all-around terrible person. (No kittens actually get killed, mind you.)

This game for some reason has received a lot of crap from game reviewers who are clearly not super impressed with it. The game has a few loading and framerate stuttering issues, it’s not very long (even though I personally would classify a game that is eight to ten hours as ‘long’), and there’s not a lot of lasting appeal, that is, once you finish the game it doesn’t really keep you coming back for more. These are good points…but I only agree with a few of them, you whiny, picky, punk reviewers!

I do think the game keeps you coming back for more, not just because of the added content available for purchase, but because the game has two different endings, and I personally wanted to go back and see what each ending entailed. So, it does keep you coming back for more, but maybe only once. Also, my number one argument in favor of this game is that it’s just plain FUN. And isn’t that what video games are supposed to be in the first place? The game is so crap-your-pants fun that any minor negative features can be tolerated and excused. You can throw Stormtroopers halfway across the galaxy with the flick of your wrist, for Pete’s steak. How does that not invoke upon you a sizeable mirthquake?

I would suggest the Wii version of this game so you can swing your Wiimote around like a Light Saber, George Michael-style (from Arrested Development – go buy the DVD’s NOW), but this game needs a bigger console to unleash the full viewing potential of its beautiful graphics. They may not be the best you’ve seen, but they are still impressive.

Like I said, ignore what the reviewers say. This game will make you happier than when you received your last big tax return. If nothing else, the game is worth checking out solely because of the first level where you can tromp around as Darth Vader pwning everything in your path. And whether you openly flaunt your love of the Star Wars Universe or are a closet fan, nothing will put a smile on your face quite like complete Sith destruction. And Wookiees.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10