"Guitars?! We Don't Need No Stinkin' Guitars!"
by Stuart Newsom

Back when rhythm games were in their larva stage, all the consoles had was a rapping dog and a space newsgirl who preferred to wear very little clothing. The games were fun, but it was all about the characters, not about the music. Then, out of nowhere, came a little company called Harmonix. If that name is familiar to you, it’s probably because they eventually made this tiny phenomenon called Guitar Hero and later created Rock Band. But I hear you out there in Internet land: “Stuart! We love Guitar Hero but we don’t have the coordination to play an instrument, real or fake!” Fear not, oh denizens of the tubes. Look to Amplitude. It’s the same game, just without all the plastic instruments.

Amplitude’s gameplay is easy: Pick one of five tracks from the five different lands, get in your little beat spaceship flying over the track, and activate different sections of the song by pressing L1, R1, and R2 at the right time, while the controller vibrates to the beat of the song. Easy, huh? Well, at first, yeah it is! But as time progresses, it goes from “Dude, this is too easy” to “AHH, MY BRAIN IS MELTING” as the final songs are sadistically complex tests in button-pressing dexterity. The power-ups are mildly helpful and slow things down to make the eviler of drumbeats actually achievable, but it’s really just trial and error. The final group of songs will play in your head FOREVER - not because they’re particularly catchy, but because you’ll play them over and over again, just to get halfway through. The single player is mainly there to unlock songs, but where the game really shines is in multiplayer.

There are three multiplayer modes: Standard, Head-to-head, and Remix. Head-to-Head is just a skill test and Remix is basically Amplitude “horse.” The Standard multiplayer mode is essentially the same game as single player, but instead of completing the track on your own, you and your friend (soon to be deepest enemy) play against each other in a race to complete more sections. This includes cutting in front of the other person to get a section before they do, using the auto-complete power-up to steal a section from under them, and using the aggressive power-ups. Examples of the latter being a combo-destroying ‘Bumper’ or the ‘Crippler,’ which wobbles the track and vibrates their controller uncontrollably, to make their musical lives a living hell. By the end of the song, it feels like you’ve been in an epic struggle for the ages, which makes the pulverization of your opponent that much sweeter. It was also one of the few PS2 games you could actually play online, but as of a couple of years ago, the servers were turned off (BOO!).

All that is cool and all (EDITOR’S NOTE: YOU MEAN LIKE THAT TV SHOW I WAS ON?! I AGREE.), but being a rhythm game, the question becomes, “What about the music?” In a nutshell, it’s good…but you have to be open-minded. There are twenty-six tracks in all, ranging everywhere from Rock to Electronica to Hip-Hop. Most of them are by popular artists, like Papa Roach, P.O.D., The Crystal Method, Pink, Run-D.M.C, Weezer, Garbage, David Bowie, Slipknot, among others. This seems cool, right? However, keep in mind that in most cases, the artist themselves may be popular, but the song you’re playing might not be. You may know Papa Roach, but have you ever heard of the song “M-80 (Explosive Energy Movement)”? I’m guessing no.

A bunch of the songs are also created in-house under a bunch of different names. I know you’re thinking, “In-house=sux!” but most of the time, they’re better than the big names. The real star of the game, though, is the Harmonix standby, because one of the members of the band Freezepop is also the Harmonix musical director. Freezepop’s “Super Sprøde” is by far one of my favorite songs in the game. I mean, it actively asks people to “throw your undies on the stage.” How can you possibly get more rokk?!

Amplitude is one of those awesome games that people seemed to miss, which is sad. So, if you’re into the whole rhythm game thing, but don’t want to clutter your house with plastic drum sets and guitars and microphones and harmonicas and glockenspiels, seek out a little Amplitude.

Overall Rating: 9.99 out of 11