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Imma Be Straight Wit You, Girl: Truth About “Top 5 With Lisa Foiles”

Top 5 With Lisa Foiles

As many of you know, I had a great web series on The Escapist called Top 5 with Lisa Foiles, where I did a weekly countdown of completely ridiculous video game-related stuff, like Top 5 Awesome Robots and Top 5 Impractical Hairstyles and who even thinks about these things until I TELL you to think about them?! (And therein lies the charm of my show.)

You guys have been such amazing supporters of the series and I can’t even put into words how much I appreciate your funny comments, heated debates, and virtual high-fives. Seriously. You guys are fantastic and the last thing I want to do is let you down.

The show has been on hiatus for over two months now and if I had an Underwater Ninja Tiger for every time someone asked – nay, SHOUTED WITH GREAT GUSTO about where the show went, I would have a lot of motherf*cking Ninja Tigers, and we’d all be pretty screwed.

So, I’m writing this in hopes that I can quell your rage-fits while simultaneously using enough discretion to not get myself sued. Here’s all I can say:

I didn’t want to stop making Top 5s, but neither did The Escapist. It’s… complicated. There are some behind-the-scenes issues with the show being produced currently, and I can assure you it’s not my fault. I loved bringing you my show every week. It wasn’t canceled, I’m not being lazy, and no, I didn’t die, despite all the creative rumors about my death (that mostly I started).

Do I have good news? Yes!

Top 5 is not entirely dead. I have no plans on killing that idea. It will be revived and it will be better than ever – I’m not sure in what capacity, but it will happen. (And we’ll have a big re-launch party with lots of drinking!)

Better news! I have several very awesome web endeavors in the works! I call them “Web-deavors!” One involves an already well-loved, popular project being turned into a series which may or may not rhyme with “Shmallout,” another involves a Big Bang Theory-meets-True Blood type of show to be filmed later this year, and to top it all off, I’m developing a new one-woman web show which will involve all the retardation and quirky humor you’ve come to like about me. Or tolerate. One or the other.

So, again, I can’t apologize enough for the lack of Top 5, but it is not my fault. I have no plans to stop bringing you awesome content, it’s just in the development stages right now. :)

In the meantime, feel free to keep making your presence known here at the new Save Point! I personally read every comment and you people have me rofling multiple times a day. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS! MOSTLY IN THE PANCREAS AREA!



Oh, and I might get in heaps trouble for posting this, but whatever, I'll take it down if I get yelled at. Here's an unaired preview of Top 5:

Comments (80) Trackbacks (0)
  1. “It will be revived and it will be better than ever”

    …top SIX with Lisa Foiles?! Is the public ready for that??!?!?!?

    Anywho, I can’t wait to see what’s waiting in the wings of the Save Point team in this game of… game journalism on the stadium of the….Internet?

    This metaphor is crashing and burning, long story short much love to Save Point! I hope some day I can be considered part of the ‘Save Point Posse’

    • Heh, someone thinks me, by association, a journalist. Ha. Awesome.

      But thank you good sir for such support on our insane endeavors!

  2. Wait, does this mean Amanaguchi sued cos you didn’t clear their song for the end credits?

    • HA! No. Anamanaguchi loves me, duh.

      • Everyone loves you. You’re adorable.

        …Well, there is Blendy. I thought maybe it actually killed you while you slept, which would explain the lack of new Top 5 episodes. It’s nice to see that-… Hey, how do we know you’re actually you? For all we know, you’re just Blendy impersonating Lisa after murdering her!

  3. This Big Bang Theory meets True Blood thing intrigues me…

  4. Whatever happens you are THE BEST!

  5. I’m just going to assume that this is a direct response to, specifically, my inquiry into the status of Top 5, seeing as I posted that question on your “About” page two days ago. Let me just say I appreciate you being able to recognize my awesomeness. I recognize your skills as well and am glad to hear that you’ll be back in some capacity. Also, I’m happy to hear you’re still alive. I thought Blendy finally got you.

    • This was absolutely just for you. And Blendy still stalks me on an everyday basis. That little motherf—

      • Yeah, he said he was planning something big. He was always obsessing over you. He used to hang out at my place on the weekends, until my toaster got pregnant. Beware Blendy.

  6. web-deavors is my new band name. also, if shmallout doesn’t rhyme with a popular video game series, what else could there be?

  7. Top 5 will be revived? I hope so. You should find four other people with your name, and count down the Top 5 Lisa Foiles. Foileses. Foilesi?

  8. A week of massive debauchery now top five clarity ! what a fantastic week ! thanks for being rocking and now to finish off my crate of cider… :D

  9. Are you going to make a videogame soon too? Such as… “Top 5 with Lisa Foiles: THE GAME”

  10. I am gonna comment here because my GF gets mad when I profess my undying love for you on Facebook… LOL

    Good to here you are keeping busy and I can’t wait to see your future projects!

    Oh, AND I LOVE YOU! :D

  11. Well, I’ll miss the show, but honestly it’s your personality that kept me coming back. I look forward to your next creative outlet! :)

  12. Those are just words Lisa, empty soulless words. WE WANT RESULTS NOT THIS TOMFOOLERY!!!

    nah… it’s cool… what ever man… as long as you ain’t dead, or even if you are and now you’re a zombie that has figured out how to type, s’all good

    Stay golden asscracker

  13. ZOMG!! (Okay, so I’ve never been completely sure what most internet slangy things mean. I just use them to fit in. I don’t even know if that is an appropriate response.)
    Anyways, I found this site by a rather fortuitous Google accident (I may have added an “e” to the word foils), and I am glad I did. This is a fantastically funny, nerdy place and I have enjoyed everyone’s posts and now enjoy your Top 5 videos.
    Good job to everyone involved, and I look forward to future mediacal (that might be a made up word) offerings.

  14. Glad to see you’re not dead and whatnot :D
    I’m going to work on gettin you underwater ninja tigers. I shall find a way to make it work.

  15. Yay, it’s not dead :D I really admire “Top 5″….so much, that I would be waiting ’til oblivion if it takes that long.
    Really great to hear about your new endeavours. They sound intriguing, however, I will follow them anyways….Lisa-Foiles-Superfan xD

    btw: NO, I have not forgotten about that Jurassic Park – Super mario Remix….I’m in the proeess of finetuning (slang for: “DAMMIT, it needs to sound less like a Rhinoceros-dash-Porcupine-Sextape and should make some actual song recognisable)…..but it will be released some time soon xD

  16. Good to see some light shed on Top 5. No matter what happens, this guy’s still gonna be keeping an eye out for new content from all of you guys. Let’s face it: you’re too freakin’ awesome to miss out on.

    The world needs your quirky journalism; everyone’s gotten way too serious and critical elsewhere (and with good reason to some respect), it’s just that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of light-hearted humour along the way!

    Let the good times roll Save Point! Much love.

  17. I’ve never noticed you have a Queen T-shirt. It gives me funky feeling in my trumpet. Any case, hope to see you airing on them Interwebs soon. Cheers :)

  18. Good to know you will be doing the show again in some capacity. I really liked everyday achievements as well. I look forward to seeing more from you, and the team you have.

  19. No longer will i look upon the right hand side of the escapist and be filled with disappointment when a new Top 5 hasn’t arrived! Thanks for the update at least the greiving can begin now and by greiving I of course mean having a few beers and playing some games!

  20. well. i have to say i did get quite fed up with waiting. I thought you had just used us to promote yourself before moving to Hollywood to make movies and stuff. BUT as thats not that case i take back all the bad things i thought about you. so if you woke up during the night from a nightmare we’re someone was doing bad things to you, i’m sorry for projecting my anger. If you were enjoying it, it wasn’t me.

    so heres some star wars to hopefully patch things up:

    and what decks to you run with magic? just wondering coz my best mate just brought his weight in magic cards.

    any who. dont really know how to end this…ooo i know


  21. Hurray, I’m part of something!

    Don’t you sometimes just get the urge to say random stuff that comes to mind (or preferable Futurama quotes. I kid you not I could go through life speaking only in Futurama quotes easily) even if it doesn’t really make sense in the greater scope of things? No? Well, then you sir are no friend of mine!

  22. What a misleading title… I thought you were gonna reveal the fact that Top 5s were filmed on your secret moon base

  23. I think the most important thing we can all take from this is-OH MAH GOODNESS LOOK TO THE RIGHT OF THE VIDEO UNDER SUGGESTIONS IT’S BEANS

  24. So the great news I can take away from this is that we will be getting more Lisa :) More the merrier.

  25. I’m thinking you pitched the idea to HBO (HBO because of the course language and content. Pretty graphic show) and they were all “Ya! But no moar on The Escapist plz.”
    So you were all “Okay, how long’s this gonna take?” Then they were all “We are HBO, we have The Wire and Treme, it’ll take us as long as we want.” So you were all “DEAL!”
    Either that, or you pitched the idea to NBC and they just said “F*ck it, sounds legit.”

  26. Good. Both that the videos will continue & that you’re taking the time to do them right instead of spitting out half-digested videos while biting off more than you can chew in side projects….I think that made sense?

  27. You’re Amazing Lisa.

    Whatever you do will be golden.


  28. And confirmation of you being alive makes that damned conversation about your relationship status bloody embarrassing.

    Where’s HK47 when you need an assassin droid dammit?!

  29. I loved the top 5, my favourite episode has to be best robots, mainly because of Blendy.
    I wish I had a Blendy, all my robot friend does is watch re-runs of Cheers and complain that no one uses him, then again he is a VCR.

    Can’t wait to see more of your stuff both on The Escapist and here.

  30. “Web-devours”?

    Mmmmmm no.

    I would have called the called them:


    *Nods approvingly.* You can have that one for free, I just want one of your Ninja Tigers. Ever since Ninja Gaiden I wanted a ninja dog. A ninja tiger has to be that much better!

  31. Woop woop!! Keep them coming. I would give you a list of the top 5 reasons why we can’t wait, but thats more you’re jurisdiction… :)

  32. First off, will you marry me? And second, I’m not crazy, You’re just the girl of my dreams *DreamingAimlessly* Wishing you the very best =D and I love the new look! Red is very sexy on you

  33. That stinks hope you can get everything back running. Keep up the faith lady! They gotta work with you. Your Lisa Foiles! You rock our pants off every time we watch you (may or may not be a good thing….well… good for us at least *takes a drag* lol)

  34. lisa, first of all, no, i wont ask you to marry me, mostly because i live in Argentina, and i guess is pretty far from where you are, so it wont be practical for us :P
    And second: please, bring the top five back…. please, i really need them…

  35. Top5 was quirky, smirk-inducing joy. And lolz, some good lolz in there too. Glad to hear things are well and moving forward with other projects.

  36. Bah! Without the new vids, I’ve actually had to spend my additional free time getting back to modding STALKER! That’s wrong! Sacrilegious! Heresy and blasphemy, fire and brimstone!


    Fine – I’ll simply be patient like everyone else. In the meantime, I’ll either be lurking in the Metro or the Zone (depending on how I feel at any given moment), waiting for the return of “Top 5″ and/or other new material :p

  37. Alright, awesome,
    Glad to hear you’re all coming back with even more awesomeness.

  38. You said you want to be straight with me. Can I be not straight with you? Like, more of a curve? A colorful rainbow curve? :3 I’m so clever.

    Glad to hear that the end is really a new beginning!

  39. Well… sad to hear you’re having troubles. Though, now it makes me want to make up some conspiracy theories cause of the ambiguity…

    Hope your Top 5 does make it back sooner than later! Really loved your series!

    But all the series(es?) you do are really fun so no matter what you got going on, I’m sure we’ll all love it!

  40. I”m sooooo glad I came across this, you have answered all of my questions in a round about way. I really did think you were probably BANISHED due to the hair color change, and taken down to a far off site system where you had to do top 10 lists to moon rocks until one of them cracked up.

    Thankfully I found this, so YEAH, and look forward to the laughs you do bring me. *High five!!*

  41. Glad you aren’t gone forever. Honestly, you and ZP were the only things I went to The Escapist for.

  42. Lisa!!! I loved your Top 5 show. So, since I could not get any news on what had happened, I thought of coming here, to THE SOURCE (Neo-style). I am glad the show will be back at a point, but I really miss it though, so I hope you make up for that.
    By the way, Im writing from Argentina (I bet you never thought of having a fan here, right?), from my future[s wife laptop, so sorry if the punctuation signs are not right….

  43. Glad to see that Top 5 will continue and that there will be other projects to enjoy. Also if you have surplus Underwater Ninja Tigers will there be give aways?

  44. I’m glad to hear that the Top 5 isn’t completely dead. All us geeks know the joy of nostalgia. In any case, so far(!) everything you’ve done has been enjoyable, so even if it never rises again, your new projects should be cool.

    Keep it real Foiles.

  45. Wait, does this mean you went back to blonde? I loved your red hair!

  46. One thing confuses me – I thought that the side bar on the Escapist was partly set by popularity (which is why ZP is always always always at the top). So why’s Top 5 been creeping upward for the past month?

  47. you will be missed.. what the hell am i supposed to watch at work on tuesdays? my work? pfft. no one likes a showoff.

  48. Glad to hear Top Five is not dead yet !

    Hey think about it : maybe it’s gonna be like Duke Nukem ? something that people will wait and talk about during years and years and in the end, the project turns to be a big movie with a million dollars budget, Heavy metal Soundtrack, and the kick ass voice of yours ?

    Whatever you do, be sure of the total support of the french branch of the Top Five community !

    (PS : i still want to interview you whenever it’s possible)

  49. I’m glad you posted this!! I just wanted to say thank you, It’s been so cool seeing a Northwestern girl pointing out all the fun things about video games – aka the reason we started playing them in the first place. Love your style and your sense of humour – don’t ever lose it!!

    As corny as this sounds, you’re an excellent role model for young female gamers everywhere. As Brett and Jemaine would say, it’s no fun when there’s “too many dicks on the video game arena/dance floor”. Yesss great quote. Thank you English degree! (And go ducks!!)

  50. *humOR – there’s that pesky kiwi farm-girl accent showing through. We’re in the Northern Hemisphere now damnnit!!

  51. Sweet. I just recently got into your Top Five, thanks to a random link on Zero Punctuation, and found it right up my alley so to speak. Which is to say it has a little mom-and-pop game store on one side and a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant on the other. But I digress.

    Glad to hear you’ve got more stuff coming :D

  52. Well, it´s sad that your show in The Escapist is in stand by but I hope it will come back some day.

    By the way, and I hope to not be unsensitive about it but, what happened with your work with Angry Joe? Suddenly you stopped showing there, Haven´t you thought about joining to TGWTG?

  53. Thanks a ton for the update, Lisa! I miss the weekly Top 5, but I can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for us coming up! Stay funny, stay beautiful!

    On a more personal note, are you coming to Seattle anytime in the near future? I’d love to meet/hang out/go drinking with you!

  54. You love us so much it hurts your pancreas? WE’RE GIVING YOU DIABETES OH NO D:

    Somebody call Wilford Brimley…!

  55. FFFFFFFFF– I want an underwater Ninja Tiger now. :/

    NO! FOCUS!

    The news make me go sad faise.

    I s’ppose I shall move to your site now. I’ve come to love the Top 5 and I’m glad to hear it’s not your fault.
    Yeah, that’s right! That’s all I heard! “It’s not Lisa’s fault! It’s someone else!”. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it. Cause it works.

    Anywho, Top Five or whatever it is, you’ve attracted me to your site now.

    *Grabs things and moves here*

  56. I discovered the Top 5s last night and stayed up to watch each episode, some more than once; only to discover it’s on hiatus.

    It was kinda like watching Firefly then discovering it was cancelled, only not so bad because Top 5 hasn’t been completely axed. Looking forward to new stuff.

    Can’t stop the signal

  57. My grandfather has pancreas problems… now I’m sad. But congrats on more shows and we all miss Top 5 on the Escapist.

  58. I thought you just ran out of outfits or something. If that was the case, then it really isn’t you fault. Or is it?

  59. Just so you know Lisa, it’s your fault that i bought Stubbs the zombie


  60. Your Top 5 with Lisa Foiles preview just made me a little sad inside knowing your not going to be on the escapist anymore :(

    I am curious as to the future, I’m glad your not going to just disappear into nothingness.



    I’m diabetic, and have a broke pancreas, so I have no idea how that feels! YOU MUST ADDRESS THIS TO A WIDER AUDIENCE LISA!

  62. I have no idea if you’ve heard about this yet Lisa, but there’s a big thing going down between The Escapist and Extra Credits. The Escapist only paid Extra Credits for four episodes and is now trying to steal the donation money for Extra Credits Artist’s surgery fund.!/extracreditz – Extra Credits twitter for the story.

    I’m going to guess The Escapist also treated you like shit and decided you get to work for them for free.

    • Yeeeeeeeeeeeeep. When I heard that shiznit with Extra Credits, I immediately thought of Lisa. And I also assumed the same thing.

      But whatever, ya know. I love Extra Creditzzzz and Lisa so I’ll follow them, not the Escapist.

      You know, no hard feelings ._ .

      *Poe’s Haunted song plays in my head while doing this…*

    • This may explain why shows at the Escapist have a habit of starting strong, then disappearing after a few months. It’s a shame, but at least they introduced me to Lisa’s particular brand of wacky, which allowed me to find this little corner of the interwebs.

  63. Hey,

    I wanted to share regarding this. I totally agree. Thats really it – thanks for posting.

  64. What about pancakes? Zhe pancakes must be secured before anything can develop.

    Also, heres to a future with moar top 5. *raises glass*

  65. Since it’s in the “Archived” section now, I’m assuming the show is dead. I’d love for it to be revived, but I’m not holding out hope.

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